You heard it here first:

Brett Favre will return to the NFL and win the Super Bowl in his last season

Observations

abovetheinfluence.com sponsors the X-games, especially the snowboarding events. coincidence?...

why look over your shoulder after you have crossed the street? you could have died walking blindly into traffic, idiot...

shut up, tools...

the '85 Bears were quite 'different'...

Custom furniture by John Elway. I wish I were making this up...

ESPN streams their radio content online as well as providing free podcasts every day. Awesome...

Pet pyschics??...

NAAFA...

Kevin Federline is the worst musician ever, in the history of man...

Regular house guests.

*Gobble Gobble*

Just so you know, I've made only 23 calls since September 12, 2005, it's 61.4* degrees in my room currently and sororities do not know what is in their best interests.

Too many: gays on late night BET, suck-ass awayers, and cold slices of pizza.

Too less: free "______", Steeler fans, and "anointed prayer handkerchiefs (1-800-939-4038)" in the world.

For the latter, no, this is not the last day. According to www.kerneythomas.org and Acts "eleventy tweleve" we are all saved by a handkerchief. "Taping live"...wow, good job. Of course you are TAPING live!!! Wait, I must stop whatever I am doing and call...

OK, I really did call. And I got an "automated voice system". God speaks in mysterious ways...through answering machines. If it weren't for the junk mail, I would have ordered the bless(e')d** handkerchief.

On a completely unrelated note, I went to Fazoli's with Thiede and his better half tonight. Dinner was good, got the Ultimate Sampler with unlimited breadsticks. The female of the group drives a Pontiac Vibe which is roomier than I thought. Granted, my legs were in the driver's side wheel well, but you'll have that in a small car. After dinner we headed to B-dubs because one of her sorority sisters (see above) turned 21. After a rousing game of Ms. Pac-man, Thiede and I joined the group. Girls...always late. Meet at 8? Psssh. More like 9+. Made it back to the Pike House by 9:30 in time to pre-game. Party = lame, but gone are the days of Cothera and his awesome parties. Highlight was the Chuck Norris Top 30 in the back-lounge. Niiice.

East-West Shrine game was on today. For those who don't know, this is the last game that seniors have to mark their territory for the NFL. Not as good as you'd think. NFL rules and no 'power offense', that is, hardly any counter and draw plays. Sucks to the full-backs.

In other news, I have a paper to write Sunday, so I'm out.

Nomar? I think so. Check out this:



Here I go again, I see the crystal vision; I keep my visions to myself. It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Like a heartbeat that drives you mad, in the stillness of the memory, what you had and what you love. Who says what you have? You know what you love. Thunder only happens when it's raining. Players only love you when they're playin'. They say women come and they will go. When the rain washes you clean you'll know.

*At time of posting temperature = 66.1 F.
**Think Shakespeare with the accent on the e.

So...it's been a long while since the last post, though to be honest I've never really posted regularly. Ever.

First, as it is fresh in my mind, the videos BET shows late at night, between 3 and 5 AM...very gratuitous. I may have well been working in a bakery with moon boots on with all those bouncy buns. And the :) icons they censor certain parts with cracks me up. It's like You can't look here, but we all know what's under that little happy face. And is a little nip slip gonna truly hurt anyone? Take the infamous Janet Jackson incident for example. If memory serves me correctly, the Senate debated that issue for about 12 seconds before passing a bill capable of leveling punishments to broadcasters allowing indecent content. The vote on that bill: 99-1. Wow, a nipple. Everyone has nipples, even dudes (weird if you ask me). But c'mon. What's the harm in a little love being spread around? Instead of curbing the violence on television they took on a nipple. What's the message to the children (like TO, I do it for the children)? You can shoot up a block of gangbangers in South Central but damned if you look at a bare breast if it isn't in your own home. Ok, enough of that rant.

You know what really grinds my gears? The Spanish Inquistion Ok, not really. That was cool.

Wanna learn to air guitar? Just fan the balls.
Bass? Just scratch the belt on your right hip, baby.

Alexander Hamilton was cool, until he got shot by Aaron Burr. Just call me Aaron Burr the way I'm putting down Hamiltons or something like that. Check out the Lazy Sunday rap from SNL. For two white guys they actually did a fine job, not to mention very very funny.

Andrew Jackson was censured by the US Senate. That just shows how cool Old Hickory was. He was on the Presidents program on History Channel last night. Second favorite President. First? The third office holder. That's right, the man, the myth, the legend: Thomas Jefferson. Modern day politicians could take a lesson from the Monticello resident. When a news article ran the story of him knocking up his slave (who happened to be his wife's half sister -- Jefferson's father-in-law's illegitimate daughter...wicked) he simply ignored the bit of news. He never once commented or answered any questions about it. To do that takes cajones. But he was a great President and was only 1 of 2 Presidents who signed the Declaration of Independence, though in true form, he died on the 50th anniversary of the document's signing. You're smart, you do the math.

Speaking of smart, Peyton Manning is a dolt. 2nd and 2 and he goes deep. 3rd and 2? Oh, no run...another pass. Manning is a great quaterback, just don't bet on him in the playoffs. The worst part is, and I am no Colts fan (Bengals, Browns and Cowboys), if they had won the Super Bowl the media would be all over Terre Haute this summer for training camp. So goes meeting those ESPN personalities like Berman and Patrick. Damn, great job Peyton. Thanks.

Jermone Bettis must win the Super Bowl. The Denver-D is very strong on the run, but if he gets to the big game, I am sure he will retire after this, his 13th season. As long as Big Ben steps up like he did in the Divisional they should stand a fighting chance. Let's just hope Denver pulls an Indy and doesn't start playing until the 4th quarter.

Seattle and Hassleback don't deserve their hype. Easiest schedule and easiest division in the NFL. Quality wins are nowhere in sight. Carolina on the other hand has battled its way to the NFC Championship and deserves, and stands to make a legitimate shot at, the Super Bowl.

Picks:
Pittsburgh over Denver (mountain-man beard vs. haven't-shaved-in-months beard)
Carolina over Seattle (warmth vs. rain)
iPod Video over anything else (kick-ass vs. suck-ass)
Gateway over Asser Travelmate (1 Gb RAM vs. 256 Mb)
Miller Lite over Budweiser (taste vs. ass)
Captain Morgan over Captain America (pirate vs. mullet)
Chuck Norris over Stephen Segal (Walker vs. weirdo)
Baseball over Hockey (America vs. Canada)
West Virginia over Arkansas (borders Virginia vs. borders Louisiana)
Acid Rayn over Snizzle (new vs. old)

And with that I'm out...with a new monicker, fresh drum beat and some turkeys: